Encouraging Our Husbands Through Prayer...

Ladies, one of the most important tasks about being a wife is being a helper. Genesis 2:18 - It is not good for the man to be alone, so I will create a companion for him, a perfectly suited partner. 

With that being said, there are numerous ways we can help our husband... one of the most IMPORTANT way is by prayer.

I wanted to write about this because in my 3 and a half years of marriage, I've had conversations with newlywed couples and couples who have been married for decades! And through these experiences, I've noticed the pattern of how women would talk about & pray about their husbands. 

• Some women pray like this, "Lord, please change my husband."

• Some women pray like this, "Lord, why is he so blind to the truth?"

• Some women pray like this, "Lord, show him what's right."

• And some women pray like this, "Lord, help me be a better help & encourager to my husband, and that my actions may minister, encourage, and bless him."

From the options above, it seems like the women who prayed like the first 3, had friction in their marriage. Most of the time, the woman has a difficult time finding chemistry with her own spouse because she's TOO busy trying to change him!

ME? I've noticed a night and day difference when I prayed to CHANGE HIM vs. praying for CHANGE, IN ME. When I wanted HIM to change, it felt like nothing in our relationship was going right! We would argue A LOT, I would sass talk him back, I didn't respect what he had to say, and I sure didn't want to listen to his thoughts... BECAUSE I THOUGHT MY THOUGHTS WERE BETTER. When I noticed that the dynamics of our relationship was headed for disaster, I pleaded to God to help. To help ME. To help me see the things in ME that needed to change... The willingness to humble yourself will make all the difference in the world.

So how do you pray? Do you pray to God to change HIM, to show HIM the truth, to show HIM what's right, or do you pray that God helps YOU to be a better wife?

I know,  I know what you're thinking. "But HE'S the one that needs changing, growing, maturing, & be a better husband!"

Sorry to break it to you, but although you MAY be right, you are wrong in so many ways. The fact that we, ladies, pray to God to CHANGE our spouse is NOT in our job description. No where in the Bible calls us ladies to pray to CHANGE our husbands --

1 Peter 3:1-2: Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

If you feel like your husband isn't living right, don't pray to change him, pray for YOURSELF. 

Pray that God will change your heart, to give you grace, mercy, & patience. Because when your heart is right, your actions will follow. And with that, the bible tells us, "they [husbands] may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." 

So above all, make sure your heart is right when you come before God. He knows your desires. He also knows that ultimately, what you want is what's best for your marriage... HOWEVER, sometimes, what we, ladies, think is best, may not be God's best.

So how exactly should we pray for our husband? Instead of praying to CHANGE his actions, pray that God blesses him GENEROUSLY with comfort, confidence, wisdom, & peace. TRUST ME, God will answer, and will honor your diligence in being a great wife & helpmeet. (Matthew 7:8-11 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!)

The following are verses that will help you when you encourage & pray for your husband. YES, there WILL be trials, struggles, & temptation. The Bible never promises us that life will be a breeze. Therefore, we must know the truth & SOLUTIONS to whatever life throws at us!

WHEN HE FEELS INCOMPETENT -  James 1:5 - But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

WHEN HIS IS OVERWHELMED -  1 Corinthians 10:13 - Any temptation you face will be nothing new. But God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can handle. But He always provides a way of escape so that you will be able to endure and keep moving forward.

WHEN HE FEELS INADEQUATE - 2 Corinthians 12:9 - “My grace is enough to cover and sustain you. My power is made perfect in weakness.”

WHEN HE IS OVERCOME WITH WORRY - Romans 8:28 - We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan. 

WHEN HE CAN'T UNDERSTAND GOD'S PLAN FOR HIS LIFE - Matthew 6:33 - Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and then all these things will be given to you too.