Oh boy, 2014 just arrived, in full force! And I'm sure, you have already went to the gym or planning on going soon, just so you can secure your plans to make 2014 your best year yet!!!
Well ladies, here are 5 things I plan on doing this 2014.
No, it's not losing weight.
No, it's not saving money so you can have a gazillion dollars.
No, it's not getting a better job so that you can tell your boss off.
No, it's not eating healthy.
No, it's not slimming your butt (or in my case, making it bigger)
...and the list goes on.
The list above is not abnormal, in fact, it is actually a legitimate list that I got off of usa.gov! (Ok, the butt on I threw in there, for free)
Every year, we make promises to ourselves - to ultimately, become a better person! Every New Year's Resolution is made from that foundation. Even if it had something to do with helping another, the deed of doing so makes YOU feel like a better person.
The following are a few resolutions that will help YOU and I be that better person we strive to be. We, as wives, must realize that we have our own path, building our own unique vision for our marriage, and striving to be the BEST wife we can be for the man God gifted us with.
1. Start
That's right, just start. If you have an idea or a vision, START IT. Don't spend your time and energy thinking about it or forming calculations in your head, or talking yourself out of it! The biggest problem with wives nowadays is that we are so convoluted in our thinking, we basically lose the battle by forfeit before we even started! Whether it's getting fit, learning a new hobby, writing a book, teach your children, compliment your husband, clean the house, wash your car, etc., EVERYTHING must begin with your decision to START.
WHY? Because, if you never start to take on your thought or idea, you will never know the outcome. It's better to start and see for yourself if you like it or not, than to be afraid to do so and always wonder.
Make it a point this year to not let your fears prevent you from STARTING.
2. Stop Trying to Change Your Husband
Oh yes, it's happening, and it becomes a fad. You'll see it all over FB... My favorite is when it's an article for men (usually describing some perfect husband or boyfriend that so happens to create the perfect illusion of what the ideal husband should be like, when in reality, it was just a short scene in his life that was highlighted and doesn't actually portray everyday life). What's ironic about this is: the only "shares" I see are usually by women, and the only people that "like" it are majority women. Does this make men want to change? NO! Goodness gracious ladies. Men don't read articles like that and think to themselves, "Well gee, I guess when you're sick and not eating, I'll need to empty our bank account to buy you flowers & say a compliment about you every time I open my mouth." (I know, some of you ladies will disagree with me)
What makes this fad dangerous is that we ladies don't see this, as our way to control men... it's very subtle. And it's very ineffective. We feel like we are helping them to be more "sweet" and "loving".
If anything, it just makes our men more insecure. Why? Because you're making him compare himself to your imaginary (usually cyber) ideal husband. STOP IT.
Make it a point this year this year, and every year, to speak out of unconditional love, not out of manipulation. Act as an example, instead of being controlling. Encourage with purpose, instead of criticizing out of past experiences.
3. Pray for Your Husband
Your prayers are coveted ladies. You have no idea how important is it for you to pray for your husband. Everyday, he is faced with decisions that involve him, you, and your children or future children!
The main thing that you need to pray for your husband is wisdom. Pray that God pours wisdom to him as well as you. In fact, wisdom is one of the things that God promises He would generously give us, without finding fault, when WE ASK! (James 1:5)
When you're driving on the road, running errands, cleaning the house, on your way back from work, etc. - talk to God. Tell Him how much you appreciate the man He has given you under covenant, and ask Him to give your husband wisdom. Let Him know that you want your husband to be the best leader, but also let Him know, you want to be the best helper. God will answer. But you must be willing to adjust. Remember, change is hard, and most of the time it is uncomfortable!
Make it a point this year to have God on speed dial.
4. Respect Your Husband's Human Ways
All humans are imperfect. Often times, even good people can act... well, human. I'm sure you are already thinking, "Yea, but just because you're not perfect, doesn't mean you're supposed to use that as an excuse."
Yes, you're right. But you're human too. We as wives are no more perfect when compared to our husbands. We lose our temper, we get caught off guard, we make mistakes, we slip, we stumble, and we lose our minds as well as our common sense. But that's the worst of it! For both you and your husband!
Most of the time, YOU are a REMARKABLE person! And SO IS YOUR HUSBAND! We ladies must learn to accept and LOOK OVER faults - because we all have them. If you're not willing to stand beside your husband during his imperfect moments, you don't deserve to stand beside him during his perfect moments.
Make it a point this year, and every year, to overlook human moments. Understand, forgive, and move on. Do what you would like for others to do for you during YOUR imperfect moments.
5. Stop Believing that Happiness is Elsewhere
Here's a problem I have... and most ladies have it too - Believing that happiness lies somewhere else, and not in the NOW. We have thoughts such as, "Well, once we save up [X amount] of money, we'll be happier." OR "Once my husband gets his act together, we will be a lot happier." OR "Once the kids grow up, I'll be myself again." OR "As soon as the weekend comes, I'll be able to get it together."
Abraham Lincoln says, "You are just as happy as you make up your mind to be." Happiness is a personal effort, and more importantly, a choice. You have been around yourself longer than anyone else. You know EXACTLY what makes you happy - so focus on that, and nothing else. You are the boss of your brain. And yes, it's hard because we think about things, SO much - when we over-think about events or thoughts, we easily insert ourselves into a state of depression, at a rapid rate.
Make is a point this year to simply, DO YOUR BEST and letting go and trusting that things will work out the way they are supposed to. Your nature to control every detail of the outcome is not healthy. Instead of constantly expecting things to turn out YOUR way, strive to appreciate the JOURNEY you are in so that in the end, you WANT what you actually GET because you know you DID YOUR BEST.
My
prayer for us wives is that we become the best wife we can be for our husbands. Our role as a helper is much more important than we think, so our
willingness to be a Proverbs 31 wife will be honored by God. He knows our
heart and knows our desire. May 2014 be our best year, yet!